View Full Version : I got jokes.

09-22-2011, 08:20 PM
A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers in the UK, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Scottish Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Scottish Three Kick Rule?"

The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.

His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.

The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn't.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old tosser, now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said,

"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"

09-22-2011, 08:21 PM
Your momma's so poor she can't even pay attention

09-22-2011, 08:23 PM
You're so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.

09-22-2011, 08:23 PM
Emma Sue died during the night, and her husband Buddy called 911.

The 911 operator told Buddy that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Buddy replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Buddy said, "How 'bout if I just drag her over to Oak Street."

09-22-2011, 08:24 PM
Redneck Computer Terms

Hard drive - Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.

Keyboard - Place to hang your truck keys.

Window - Place in the truck to hang your guns.

Modem - How you got rid of your dandelions. Usage: "We gonna modem dandelions"

ROM - Liquor often mixed with Coke

Byte - Beginning of an insult, often followed by the word "me" or "this"

Cursor - The person doing the cursing. What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.

Tab - What you owe the bartender

Shift - How you get to a different gear.

RAM - Great truck

Edit - Past tense of "eat" "Wher'd that leftover possum belly go?" " You edit afore you passed out las nite.

Internet - Where her fish were when she caught em ( In er net).

Fonts - That really cool guy from the show, Happy Days.

Laptop - Where the stripper sits.

09-22-2011, 08:27 PM
At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up:
"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.
The second speaker from America stood up:
"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Italy stood up:
"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

09-22-2011, 08:29 PM
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."

09-22-2011, 08:30 PM
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

09-22-2011, 08:32 PM
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”

09-22-2011, 08:34 PM
A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."

09-22-2011, 08:41 PM
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

09-22-2011, 09:16 PM
Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her. Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said. Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"

09-22-2011, 09:18 PM
One day a nun got into a cab. The cab driver, noticing she was a nun, and asked her if she would ever have sex. After she had thought about it for a while she said "Well, yeah I would have sex with a man if he had never been married, did not have any kids and went to church every Sunday." So the cab driver said "What do you know, I don't have any kids, never been married and I go to church every Sunday!" So he asked her if she would have sex with him and she agreed as long as he would take her from behind. So they had sex and afterward the cab driver said "Ha ha, I have six kids, I've been married three times and I've never been to church a day in my life!!" And the nun pulled off her mask and said "Ha ha, I'm a man going to a costume party!"

09-22-2011, 09:36 PM
The preacher's wife was making Sunday dinner, when the preacher walked in the house and says "that ham smells wonderful." His wife replies "That's a Dam-Ham." The preacher was surprised by his wife's use of profanity. She showed him the wrapper and explained that was the brand name of the ham. They sat down for dinner and the preacher says to his son, "Son, pass me the dam-ham." and his son replies, "that's the spirit, Pop, now pass me the fucking potatoes"

09-22-2011, 09:37 PM
You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring you in.

09-22-2011, 09:42 PM
You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.

09-22-2011, 10:02 PM
You Know You're Italian When:

- You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

- Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.

- You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.

- Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

- You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.

- Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

- You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.

- Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just do me" tank top to the beach.

- At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

- All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

- A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.

- You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

- If someone in your family grows beyond 5'6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

- There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

- You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

- At some point in your life, you were a D.J

- 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

- You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.

- Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna.

- You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron.

- You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.

- Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.

- It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.

- Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."

09-22-2011, 10:09 PM
A Irishman and a German are the only survivors of a plane crash on an island. They are walking around looking for food when the German finds a bottle. He rubs it and a genie appears.

The genie says, "I will grant each of you one wish. But, I must warn you, anything you choose, the other man gets twice as much of."

The German goes first. He says "I'll have a glass of Dortmunder Pilsner Beer. That way that Irish bastard will get two glasses of it, and see what a real beer tastes like.

So the genie nods, and suddenly the German is holding a glass of fine German beer, and Irishman is holding two glasses of the same beer. The German says "Now taste a real beer, not that Guinness sewage!"

The genie then turns to the Irishman and says "Now it's your turn, but remember the German will get twice what you wish for."

The Irishman says "Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

09-22-2011, 10:11 PM
Old Man McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

09-22-2011, 10:15 PM
A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome."

Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign says: "All the men here are tall and handsome. They are rich and perfectly built"

The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

09-22-2011, 10:17 PM
There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on
his new shiny bike stopped beside him.

''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?''

''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!''

The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said,
''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.''

To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ‘‘nice horse you got their sir,
did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop.

The little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put
the dick underneath the horse instead of on top.''

09-22-2011, 10:20 PM
Abe goes to see his Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong, Abe?"
Abe replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi was very surprised by this and asks, "How can that be?"
Abe then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls Abe and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
Abe anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

09-22-2011, 10:25 PM
Boudreaux calls the doctor and says, "Doc, doc, my wife Marie is in labor and da contractions are only two minutes apart!" The doctor asked, "Is this her first child?" Boudreaux shouts, "No, you idiot, this is her husband!"

09-23-2011, 12:07 AM
Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

09-23-2011, 12:07 AM
Your mom's so big, she plays marbles with planets.

09-23-2011, 12:08 AM
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

09-23-2011, 12:11 AM
Received from my friend 12 minutes, and 36 seconds ago. reply :: quote :: block :: delete
lol u realy did ur own comments to ur own thread lol

Why yes I did. As you can see its called "I" got jokes but people if you want to feel free to add on. :)

09-23-2011, 12:12 AM
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."

09-23-2011, 12:13 AM
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

09-23-2011, 12:14 AM
What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven!!! sorry I know racism is the lowest form of comedy...but it's still funny

09-23-2011, 12:26 AM
Well in that case no offense to anyone with all the race jokes I have put up this is all for laughs. I am not racist I love people of all races,colors, shapes and everything like that.Yes even if I dont know you I love you. This thread isnt here to offend anyone its just to here to give you an lol moment. :) Moving right along.

Why doesn't Mexico ever win the olympics?

Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim already crossed the border.

09-23-2011, 12:41 AM
Yo mama so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view

09-23-2011, 12:42 AM
Yo mama so stupid she went to the orthodontist to get a blue tooth

09-23-2011, 12:45 AM
Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last christmas and its still printing

09-23-2011, 04:10 AM
Were we supposed to laugh??

09-23-2011, 05:08 AM
Why does there always have to be an unhappy troll lurking around in these forums waiting to post a smart ass comment or ask a smart ass question in a perfectly good thread where none of that is needed??

Glock_18 you probably didnt laugh because you probably have a dry ass sense of humour so put the shut to the up and post some ones that you feel are funny if not then refrain from posting in here before I make you the butt of all my jokes.

09-23-2011, 05:12 AM
Wow I'm so not scared go for it dude you think I give a fuck make jokes about me it won't stop me from posting on here

09-23-2011, 05:15 AM
oh yeah I do have a sense of humor I just didn't feel like laughing

09-23-2011, 05:20 AM
I wouldnt do it to scare you fool, I would do it just to annoy you. But I changed my mind I already wasted to much time on you. You had your 5 minutes in this thread. You may leave now.

09-23-2011, 05:21 AM
WOW GLOCK_18 ur a douche.

09-23-2011, 05:22 AM
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

09-23-2011, 05:23 AM
And that's coming from the person with "Hillbilly" in their name that's funny go back to beating your wife and abusing the kids you drunken fuck

09-23-2011, 05:25 AM
Why you dont get the hell out of here Glock_18. Nobodys wants your negativity around here.

09-23-2011, 05:29 AM
I could but what would be the point in that it's fun pissing others off XD

09-23-2011, 05:34 AM
You liking to piss people off is really a sign that your crying out for attention. Since that is the case I will not turn you away you may stay. Remember Bfly Loves you.

09-23-2011, 05:35 AM

09-23-2011, 05:36 AM
LMFAO Awww ain't that nice?? Nah fool I'm good I already got my laugh for the night

09-23-2011, 05:37 AM
Goodnight Glock_18 your always welcome to come back.

09-23-2011, 05:38 AM
Oh yeah that last joke was funny XD

09-23-2011, 05:46 AM

09-23-2011, 05:54 AM

09-23-2011, 12:13 PM
'What do we want?'
' A cure for Tourettes'
'When do we want it?'
' CUNT! '

09-23-2011, 12:14 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have Alzheimers
Cheese on toast

09-23-2011, 01:57 PM
How do you know Asians moved into the neighborhood? The mexicans get car insurance

09-23-2011, 03:46 PM
So far its Blinds who came out with the best joke i heard since . Certainly made my day !

09-23-2011, 04:50 PM
I did'nt know those where jokes Blind posted. He just sounds like another moron trying to make a name for himself in yet another thread. The funniest thing I heard in here is the fact that you think what he said was actually even close to funny. Oh what sad people we have roaming around in these forums. Nice thread Bfly. Kevin Hart is hilarious. I seen him live and he alway has new and funny material.

09-23-2011, 05:46 PM
Thanks anonymous :)

09-23-2011, 05:53 PM

09-23-2011, 10:41 PM
THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER! Dear Wife, Iím writing you this letter to tell you that Iím leaving you forever. Iíve been a good man to you ... for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didnít even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You donít tell me you love me any more; you donít want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either youíre cheating on me or you donít love me any-more; whatever the case, Iím gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. donít try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! óó Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Itís true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what youíve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesnít work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ĎYou look just like a girl!í Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canít say something nice, I didnít comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wonít get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I donít know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope thatís not a problem.

09-23-2011, 10:42 PM
What starts with a "N" and ends witha "R" and you never want to call a black person??


09-23-2011, 10:43 PM
I agree blinds jokes are all homeruns

09-23-2011, 10:47 PM
He was ok. No real LOL factor there for me but he was creative. E for effort Blind. Kudos :)

09-23-2011, 11:15 PM
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent ******," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."

09-23-2011, 11:19 PM
LMAO haha that was a good one playerofthedead

09-23-2011, 11:25 PM
I wouldnt do it to scare you fool, I would do it just to annoy you. But I changed my mind I already wasted to much time on you. You had your 5 minutes in this thread. You may leave now.

Hahahahaha dis missed ass nigga!

09-24-2011, 02:44 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have Alzheimers
Cheese on toast

this is the only thing that made me laugh on here

besides that i wish i was an admin to delete useless/idiotic threads like this

09-24-2011, 06:38 AM
A bloke bought himself a new BMW and was happily driving it down the road when he thinks to himself, "I wonder how fast this thing will go." So he sticks his foot down, pulls up to over a hundred miles an hour and, before he knows it, he sees the blue lights flashing in his rear view mirror. Without thinking things through, he keeps his foot firmly on the floor thinking, "I can outrun him." After a few minutes, he comes to his senses and realises he isn't getting away from this, so he pulls over in a layby.

The policeman gets out and walks over to the car. The man winds his window down. The policeman says to him, "do you realise what the seriousness of what you just did is?"

The man replies, "yes, officer, I do realise. I'm sorry."

The policeman turns to him and explains that today is his last day till he retires it's also fifteen minutes before the end of his last shift and so he really doesn't want to do more paperwork, so he says to the man, "if you can think of a good excuse that I have never heard before, I will think about letting you go."

The man sits and thinks for a minute and then says to the officer, "my wife left me this morning for a policeman. I was just afraid you were trying to give her back!"

The policeman says, "have a nice day, sir."

09-24-2011, 02:31 PM
ur momma so fat when she jumped up she got stuck....

09-24-2011, 03:52 PM
A cop pulls me over and says your eyes are red have you been drinking tonight i reply no but your eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts??

There's a big difference when a boy and a girl says "I went through a box of tissue watching a movie"

Tiger Woods new sponsor is Trojan: The slogan: When 18 holes isn't enough!

09-24-2011, 07:36 PM
this is the only thing that made me laugh on here

besides that i wish i was an admin to delete useless/idiotic threads like this

You mad bro?? Attention, attention people here we have an example of a miserable, unhappy troll that hates himself so much he takes his anger out on a non game related joke thread that has done nothing wrong to him. #BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!!!!

09-24-2011, 07:44 PM
Tiger Woods new sponsor is Trojan: The slogan: When 18 holes isn't enough!

spectacular joke. I believe you've saved this thread from disposal by admins.

09-24-2011, 07:58 PM
jackey is so damn old, he drove a chariot to highschool.

Now I think with this joke, this thread is sure to stay open. #THANKYOU

09-24-2011, 08:06 PM

My intentions was not to make you feel offended whatsoever. I thought Phamly's joke was funny and did this thread some justice.
I mean the whole point of this thread is to share jokes and laugh amongst others and share positive feed right?
Although i might of seemed il-mannored in my reply;hence, the way youve responded to me, I assure you this was in no way to offend purposely.

im not a girl, im a guy.
I am Italian.

09-24-2011, 08:20 PM
Ok well if the Italian jokes offended you to the point where you feel like this thread should be closed then let me know I will remove those jokes myself. Like I said in a earlier post this isnt here to offend anyone this is just for lol moments for those that find it funny. Some people may disagree but at the end of the day its just a thread and it isnt as offensive as some of the other threads that have been put up. If people dont like this thread its just so easy to bypass it like its not even here. Why even bother to post in here if you dont like it or if you think its useless. I just dont see no point in that. #THANKYOU :)

09-24-2011, 08:37 PM

In no way did I imply that i felt offended with some of the material written in this thread; therefore, is the reason why i didn't bring it up. Moreover, I stated my race to show why i am named jackey, i did not put it up there to show that i felt offended with the jokes being made about Italians. In fact, i didnt even see any jokes made about italians here, but im glad you took the time to notice that there isn't any Italian jokes before you made that reply. However, that is why you dont assume when you dont know the exact implication being made.

anyways, continue with your thread, I meant not to mess up the humorous time you all are having.

09-24-2011, 09:00 PM
You also shouldnt assume things because actually there are Italian jokes in here and I did "assume" thats why you stated you were Italian.

This thread may not make everybody laugh but Im sure 1 person besides myself read a couple of things in here and had an lol moment and thats good enough for me. #THANKYOU

09-25-2011, 01:32 AM

09-25-2011, 01:38 AM

09-25-2011, 01:52 AM

This one's for the ladies. LMAO

09-25-2011, 02:16 AM
Two peanuts were walking through a park. One was a salted.

09-25-2011, 02:19 AM
Two peanuts were walking through a park. One was a salted.


09-25-2011, 02:28 AM

This one's for the ladies. LMAO

Hahahaha HELLOOO

09-25-2011, 02:39 AM

09-25-2011, 03:09 AM
LMAO they really do sound like that and ask those questions when they do your nails.