Hello everyone! From this day forward, or at least until the boredom sets in, I your friendly TMB_Reporter will be writing blogs on the interesting, the weird, and the unusual things that take place each main round. So welcome to the first edition of a new set of blogs titled, BREAKING NEWS

Now with introduction out of the way, lets begin..


MAIN ROUND 778

LOPOV THROWS HIS TOYS OUT OF HIS PRAM



Yes, you have read that correctly. At the start of main round 778 Lopov had a temper tantrum, a mini meltdown, a hissy fit. Why you may ask? Well I am not at liberty to say, but if someone breaks the rules, then they should expect some repercussions for doing so.

Lopov’s tantrum consisted of him refusing to start a family, telling his members to not join any family, and instructing the supporters within his family to chill out. As is the usual custom, I tried to reach Lopov for comment on the matter but was not able to do so. I also asked for comments from other IU members but nobody replied.

Moving on…

A lot is written about miniature wars that take place between families and union such as IU, Brotherhood, and Inner circle . Notice I said miniature; this is because these wars never last for large periods of time. There are always periods of stagnation.

But not much is written about min wars that take place between other families. I have never understood why, these battles that take place are always interesting (to me at least).




NAMELESS VS SS

During the course of the round I was alerted to the fact that Namless and SS were in engaged in a ‘mini war’. Being the curious cunt that I am I wanted to know more. I sent out a few messages to see if I could get to the bottom of the conflict.

The Nameless side had this to say:


From Blind_Hates_Nacism

Well, we were all sitting around one evening, playing strip poker like any other night.....

Damien was literally down to just his socks, and Votan was taking some sneaky pics under the table. Then we hear this noise outside, like a couple cars pull up and some people start shouting.....

Dom goes over and opens the door, to see a load of amputee, midget dwarfs falling out of a bus, mumbling some stuff about wanting to take over Vegas....
The SS members had this to say:

From JohnRooney

They are a bunch of backstabbing bitches. C_note cried last round because one of our newer guys hit him, because MaXx got hit by cnote. Our new guy didn't understand the prior relationship, especially because C_note changes his name every round. Cnote hit me last round and others as retaliation but it ended when MaXx and myself had a conversation with Cnote, or so we thought.

Nameless came out guns a blazing this round on us for no reason. They are just jealous because they don't know how to collect and rank.
On a side note I also noticed ShayneG in SS. I guess he needed to go someplace so why not SS??


TONY GIOVANNI MAKES SANDWICHES?

Midway into the round I was informed by a source that if I was feeling a little peckish I should contact TonyGiovanni. When I asked why, the reply was simple:

From Unnamed Source

Because he makes the best sandwiches!
Very interesting. This was the first I had heard of this, so naturally I sent out a few messages asking if this was indeed true. Here are some of the replies I got:

From Snake:

No those are false statements. Tony doesn’t just make a sandwich-- he is an artist! No man has ever placed pastrami on rye like he can!

There have been rumors that him and lebanon levi opened the first subway. I have been in Cleveland the whole round looking for just one sandwich but sadly he won’t respond to orders and the mansion goes hungry again.
From DanBlock

First of all, hello. Secondly, Tony does not make sandwiches. He creates art. The rumor is that after he was almost fired for a salmonella incident, Tony recommitted his life to the sandwich arts.

His renewed vigor and dedication put him on a whirlwind course to the top. Most days he can be found in the super top secret new product headquarters lab of SubWay Incorporated, working on the perfection of pickle slices and creamy Italian dressing.

Tony is a sandwich god, not to be fucked with!
From Buck_Nasty
Saying Tony makes a sandwich is like saying Michealangelo was merely a painter. Those that are to have witnessed and tasted such artistry have been few. It's been compared to hearing the sound of a Stradivarius Violin. Just knowing that whatever violin you hear afterwards it will only have a chance of being the next best thing.

When he chooses the perfect loaf handcrafted and, baked to perfection. Using nothing but the finest grains. He then carefully goes about selecting his meat. Knowing immediately how he wants to compliment the fresh loaf. He slices it to the thinnest perfection.

He favors pastrami but, that's not to say he's a one trick pony. The cheese he opts to use starts losing its flavor the very second it's cut. The kind of cheese that's aged for years. He finally spreads on the Mustard. He has a technique that is like watching the swing of Ken Griffey Jr. or, the stroke of Steph Curry. You know nobody can spread the mustard like he can. You can't coach that.
From Buck_Nasty

And Tony doesn't do it for the money. He makes a modest $8.16 per hour. He stays in his parent’s basement where he enjoys playing TMB & eating hot pockets. He gets fresh linens once a week and, takes out the garbage on Tuesdays.

Levi is the proprietor of the Subway. He's just the money behind the operation and, nothing else. He hangs onto Tony with throwing out that elusive Crew Leader position talk. If he senses Tony's getting cold feet, he'll dangle that carrot out there.

Levi spends the rest of his time playing TMB and, reconstructing the twelve words he knows.

I hope this gives you the answers you were seeking.
I contacted Tony to get his views. But he wasn’t really in a talking mood.

From TonyGiovanni

Fuck out of my inbox
I can only assume he was busy working away on his next masterpiece. Perhaps he will have it done in time for next week’s posts….

TMB_Reporter