The “WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?!??! Chronicles Chapter 1
by Storm





Every day at the Admin offices of The Mafia Boss is a brand new day that presents new challenges, ideas, and questions and various forms of fuckery, stupidity and bullshit that one often associates with the game. That’s what this story is about. It is about the basely stupid fuckheads, annoying trolls, that peruses the site every day and pop into our office inboxes with varying degrees of annoyance and stupidity. Players names I mention, it’s not an actual account of what goes down

Some troll pops me a message:

Troll: “Hi Storm, I wanted to know why I am banned from the forums?”

Storm: “Dude, are you even serious about asking me why you are banned? ...Let me refresh your memory.....you said you hated [certain race of ] people and also [certain religious type] of people and that’s against the rules. It’s hate speech, inciting hatred and racist and intolerant of other religions also, count yourself lucky I didn’t yet ban you from the game, you are on thin ice.”

Troll: “Yeah but isn’t free speech allowed? I mean for me this is my truth? Surely I can say what I feel and not have to feel like my right to free speech is being impeded?”

[I note to myself: “This bastard is eloquent”]

Storm: “Listen, my mother is [of a certain race of people that he mentioned that he ‘hates’]. So I also personally take offense, but it’s not just about me, this is not a first world country that allows free speech, this is an online game community that has players from all over the world from various ethnic and religious backgrounds, and therefore we moderate this type of behavior. In case you didn’t notice?”

Troll: “Oh yeah true, I know your mom, her pussy is so big I can park my jeep inside it. I lost my shoes down somewhere inside there last night. She still owes my dog fuck money. When I tried to fist her I was able to put in both hands and clap. Quite enthusiastically, I might add. Shes a fukin awesome ho, ‘bro!”

From 0-10000000 in 63 words. Fuck me.

*STORM PRESSES BAN BUTTON*

2 minutes later.....I get a PM from a new sign up account:

Troll: “Thought you could get rid of me so easily? Come on Storm, bro, you know I was only joking bro, don’t be such a humourless dick”

So I think to myself, I probably was a bit over the top, I could see he was just trash talking, but I got all this other work to do and this guy is taking up my time with bullshit. I probably did react a bit rashly.

Storm: “Ok here’s the deal, you been with this game for ages, I hate banning anyone, so: I will unban your account, ban this new one, and you stick to the rules please? I really am very busy and don’t have time for this and you KNOW you are just being an asshole. Come on bro, help me to help you”

Troll: “yeah, lol, sorry I can’t help myself sometimes. You’re an ok admin bro, I will try to keep it clean, I love the game’

Storm: “Okay it’s done, your account is unfrozen, I also unbanned it from forums, please don’t fuck me around again. Way too busy for this shit’

Troll: “You got it bro”

15 minutes later red alerts from staff chat on Skype:

Staff: “Storm!! Did you see the forums?!!?”

I have a look and to my absolute horror there is 20 new posts with headings like: “I hate *****” and “***** Need to be exterminated”...I am sure you get the picture.....and the very last post is titled: “Storm, go fuck yourself, you fat dirty [place name] fuck”

BAN. BAN. BAN. REMOVE. BAN IP. Clear forums ban player ban account. Everything quiet after it’s all done. Work for another few hours, go offline.

WAKE UP at 7am. Login, get online. 579 new messages in my inbox.

Fuck me....... 579 different multi accounts made and banned by staff overnight. 600 forum posts deleted made by each multi account removed.

Fucking Asshole.

**END OF PART 1**